When we arrived the designs in our price-range (after a little negotiation) were mostly symbols - Egyptian ankhs, Celtic crosses, that sort of thing. All small, all black, all commonplace. There were, however, several pages of Japanese ideograms that we both found very attractive. Today I would tell my younger self "you've never been to Japan, don't borrow from a culture you haven't experienced unless you've at least done some basic research, you massive dicksneeze", but younger me wouldn't have listened or may have said "lay off the chocolate" in response.
So, liking-but-not-understanding Japan and its culture and language as I did, I chose the symbol for "woman", as it was my 21st and that seemed apt. Also it would have been useful in a scenario of selective amnesia where I could remember everything but my gender.
"Where would you like it?" asked the burly man, and I replied "where hurts the least?". Top of the arm, apparently, so that's where I had (a simpler version of) this symbol inked, permanently, into my skin:
Why, it's Sporty Spice! And what's that atop her arm in the exact same place as mine? GODDAMNIT.
I persevered. I still liked having a tattoo, and so what if I had something in common with the charming and successful Mel Whatever? Years passed. Then one day I was having a swimming lesson in the kiddie pool (still can't swim, fyi) and a Japanese woman started looking at me strangely. Eventually she waded over.
"Excuse me, why do you have that?"
"This tattoo? It means 'woman'. I got it on my 21st birthday"
"No no. We have it on our toilets".
That's right, readers. It means 'woman' in the same way that THIS does:
It took years, I promise, for that to be funny. Eventually it was funny, then it was hilarious, then it was a good story to tell in pubs. Then my arms got fatter and it started to stretch so I'm paying to have it removed slowly and painfully by laser. In a couple of years I may have another tattoo over the scar. I love them, I just don't love mine. But if I do, I'll go for something safe. What's the Japanese for "please piss here?".
I shouldn't laugh... But I did. Soz.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was serving on my ship I point-blank refused to drink. I was terrified I'd be dragged off to some dodgy open-all-hours tattoo parlour by people who didn't much like me and encouraged to have The World's Worst Tattoo.
I bet it was worth it, in the end, to have that awesome story to tell though? :D
ReplyDeleteI wish I had gotten tattooed when I was 21. Or just, generally, been a little less uptight. I, personally, don't know a single person who regret their tattoos. (Well, at least none of the artistic ones and no one I know in person. I know _of_ a girl who regretted her swastika quite a bit and mercifully was able to cover it up completely, as her friends pooled for the cover up on her sixteenth. I'm guessing the original wasn't made by a reputable tattoo artist.)
Thanks for sharing!
^^
Jessica
I cannot speak about Japanese, but in Chinese this simply means "woman" in the way you presumably intended at the time. Japanese borrows many characters from Chinese but they often mean slightly different things.
ReplyDeleteI tell your tattoo story all the time - I think I may have used it in an interview once as well.
ReplyDeleteI didn't recognize you with the makeup.! You don't look like sporty!
bruce
The additional kanji ‘力’ in Sporty Spice’s tattoo changes the meaning quite a bit. It says “girl power”, or at least it’s obviously intended to mean that: http://translate.google.com/#ja|en|%E5%A5%B3%E5%8A%9B%0A%0A
ReplyDeleteOh God, you poor thing! This is such a funny, sweet story. I can't imagine the horror you must have felt at the time but at least you can look back and laugh.
ReplyDeletex
Oh wow, I laughed and laughed....
ReplyDeleteI've studied Japanese, and the kanji actually just means "woman", which is why it's used on restroom doors. A more proper version could be 女の人, (onna no hito - female person) but I don't really know why you wouldn't want to keep it short for a tattoo. The word the character stands for, "onna" is used all the time on its own in speech. The character is used for labeling all sorts of things "for women" or "female", so you really had nothing to worry about there.
ReplyDeleteWhat she was reacting to might have been something a little different. Tattoos in Japan have a really different connotation, and that lady may have thought it meant you were in a gang or belonged to a gang. (A gang called "woman"?) Or she was teasing you because you can't speak Japanese. Just be glad you didn't get this tattoo: 馬鹿米国人. These pretty kanji mean "Stupid American".
さようなら！
dreamingfifi